The Continuing Tale of Mr. Salami's, the Iranian Commander says they intend to Block Safe Passage through the Persian Gulf

a blog by La Kifo

An Iranian Commander, Hossein Salami aka Mr. Salami, has procclaimed the countries intent to block safe passage in the Persian Gulf from Americans. His statements in a Farsi (the language of Iran) interview prove that living with the name Mr. Salami, ain't easy. 

Dudes with the name Mr. Salami deserve a break most of the time.  It is hard to grow up with a name like Mr. Salami and be a functioning member of society. 

We get it Mr. Salami, we'll put a little respeck on your name. But do you really have to block off the Persian Gulf to all of America? Kind of a dick move. Also, which America, there are three of them. I really can not imagine why Iran and the middle east would hate North America and the United States. But for the death of me, I can't think of anything they have against Central or South American either. 

Is it because Mexico and Latin America have better spices and food? Are they racist against Brazilians? Stupid question, everyone hates Brazilians. Let's take a look at the story and see if we can figure this out. 

FreeBeacon.com:

A top Iranian military official has threatened to block the United States’ free passage through a crucial international shipping lane in the Persian Gulf, according to recent comments in which the commander insisted, “We have no other enemy in the region except for America.”

Hossein Salami, deputy commander of Iran’s Revolutionary Guard Corps, warned in a recent Persian-language interview that the Islamic Republic would not hesitate to block U.S. entry to the Strait of Hormuz, which is the only passage from the Persian Gulf to the open seas.

Salami claimed that the U.S. military fears Iran’s navy, which recently has bolstered forces to directly combat American forces in the region.

“The [Americans] believe that our navy is dangerous. Indeed, that is true,” Salami was quoted as saying in a Farsi-language interview with Iranian state-controlled television that was subsequently translated by the Middle East Media Research Institute, which monitors regional reports.

“In my view, this is the first time that the Americans have assessed the might of our navy correctly,” Salami continued. “If the Americans want to level threats against us, we can be very dangerous to them, as we have declared. They are aware of our tremendous might. We have increased and expanded our naval might, in order to overcome the military might of superpowers like America.”

Oh. Wow. 

I was ready to give this dick the benefit of doubt. What a douche, you can't just block off a large mass of water. It's not like your names on it.

Whatever, I don't even want to go to the Persian Gulf. We got plenty of quality Gulfs here in Merica'. The Gulf of Mexico and... well... Our one Gulf of Mexico is like 10 Purrsian Gulfs. So go ahead, think you have a good Navy and Gulf. We'll just be over here knowing we got the better Navy and Gulf.