When a toilet snake bites your penis...

a blog by Big Red

When your worst nightmare comes true. Remind me to never use a bathroom in Thailand. 

Huffington Post - A Thai man’s routine visit to the bathroom turned into a terrifying fight with a giant snake.

Atthaporn Boonmakchuay was doing his business on a toilet in his home east of Bangkok when a python emerged through the bowl and bit his penis, outlets reported Wednesday.

​The python wouldn’t let go, so he screamed for his wife to get a rope, the Thai English-language news site Khaosod English noted. He managed to tie the snake’s head to the bathroom door and extricate himself “before he passed out from loss of blood,” the site wrote.

Here's a video of the bloody bathroom, and snake. Sorry about the disgusting Thailand voice in the background. 

So this is possibly the worst thing that can ever happen right? A fucking python comes creeping through your bathroom pipes and bites your fucking dick. IN YOUR OWN GOD DAMN HOME. Are you kidding me? That's a shit load of blood, I have no idea what I would do in this situation. Honestly, I think I would pass out if a snake bit my dick, considering I fucking hate snakes more than almost anything in this world. I'd wake up hours later, with no dick, and a python eating away at my face. So this whole situation is just fucked in my eyes. 

I also think I'd immediately move to another country if this happened to me. Not to mention, I'd go to Mass General and get one of those dick replacements I've been hearing about. This has to be the worst thing that will ever happen in this guys life. Imagine the one safe place in this world being blown up like this. Every man's favorite time of the day should be his alone time in the bathroom. Now this poor man will never feel safe when he's trying to take a shit. So my heart goes to this man, and his penis. May God give you a speedy recovery my friend.