What Constitutes a Good Cook?

A blog by La Kifo

A lot of people both out in the world of social media and in the real world, love to claim that they are good cooks. Here is a quickee, just to set some parameters of what being a good cook is.

I've been hitting the tinder game, but all its been doing is hitting me in the face. So instead of trying to fuck people on the app, I am gonna solely concentrate on making fun of people on it. Kinda kidding, I am still gonna try and use it. So here it is, Tinder advice for the week. 

Don't tell people you're a good cook.

Even if you are, it's something that is better to come up during a conversation then just leaving it in the bio section. There is not much better than a really good home cook. A guy or girl who can make some restaurant quality food from within a small and confined space. I am still in search of mine, just kidding mom. 

Don't be going around Snapchat, Instagram, or whatever else claiming you are a good cook after you make some pasta with chicken. Anyone can make pasta with chicken. If you can't, something must be wrong with you. Pasta is literally the most idiot proof food there is out there, and people sometimes still manage to fuck it up. I have a couple times myself, and I have eaten a fair share of very poorly cooked pasta as well. I'm telling you, it is not a great experience. 

Also, if you grill up a good looking burger, it doesn't mean you can cook. A burger is like a step above pasta when it comes to cooking skills. You literally put it on the grill, then flip it once and add some cheese. Sorry, but there is a reason people cook burgers and sausage when they are plastered.

There is only one dude I have met, who claimed to be a good cook and he actually turned out to be. My boy Kurt. He is a gentle giant, wicked fucking tall. Tall enough to make me insecure every time I see the dude. The guy was pounding drinks one night, then randomly decided to make food. When he told the small group of us, I thought he was an extreme amateur like myself. So I offered to help, which ended up just being me watching. He took a whole raw chicken, celery, carrots, some other vegetables and some oil. Threw that into a ceramic pot, and put it into the oven. None of the seasoning bottles like these,

the ones that I use. He took the chicken out every so often and put on some of his own home brewed seasoning. At this point I was just as drunk as he was, and he was tossing in fresh plants that I don't remember the names of. Maybe Parsley, or oregano some shit like that.

It was fucking crazy, I had never seen cooking like that. And I am telling you, it was most likely the best chicken I have ever had in my entire life. Seriously, it was unbelievable. There were so many different flavors. The chicken kind of melted in you're mouth, super juicy. Since he cooked it in a pot, the chicken and vegetables made a broth that could have stood alone as a soup. Even the damn celery tasted good and I don't even know what celery tastes like.  I am pretty sure Kurt, my other buddy and me ate the entire thing after it came out of the oven, before we even told anyone else that it was done. 

That is what a good cook is.