Ugly Bitches need that D too

a blog by La Kifo

The days of ugly hoes coaxing respectable men into sexual actions are closing in, but I'm here to tell everyone, Ugly Bitches Need that D too. 

Hey! Fucking Ugly bitches is far from science. In fact, it's more like human nature. Why do think Macaulay Culkin exists? Ugly bitches do a lot of things that normal bitches would never do like, 

1. Live in New Jersey
2. Keep Macy's afloat after buying way too much makeup 
3. Pay their own rent
4. Get the door for themselves
5. Adopt stray cats
6. Act in the movie Precious
7. Have sex with Russel Crowe
8. Eat food
9. Cook food
10. Run for office 
11. Lick the outer rim of my asshole
12. Watch romantic comedies, alone
13. Take the subway
14. Eat at Subway
15. Play basketball
16. Stay up on Facebook chat until 3 am
17. Blatantly offer sex to anything that moves at the bar
18. Help a friend move
19. Smoke Clove Cigarettes
20. Have a lot of male friends who don't want to fuck them

*This list was created after extensive research* 

I would love to get a somewhat attractive women to do at least one of these things. Who doesn't enjoy a cloved cigarette from time to time? Who else is going to have sex with Russel Crowe and lick the outer rim of my asshole? No one, that's who. We need them ugly bitches, and we need to keep them sane or else they will do something like this.

NJ.com:
Trenton, New Jersey

A woman stabbed her male roommate in the chest Friday after he refused to have sex with her, prosecutors said Tuesday.
​
Sharon Harry, 61, of Trenton, was arrested Friday and charged with aggravated assault and weapons charges.

During a bail hearing Tuesday, prosecutors said Harry got upset at her roommate for not having sex with her Friday night. She grabbed a knife and stabbed him in the chest, causing a serious injury, prosecutors said.

*Ugly Bitches need that D too, is also the title of my upcoming self help book*

If we refuse to give ugly bitches sex, this is what will happen. Brutal stabbings from coast to coast. Now I know, majority of us don't want to fuck ugly bitches, or at least purposefully fuck ugly bitches. But we have to, it is vital, integral, intrinsic, requisite that we do so. Our country for thousands of years has been running off the fume of the ugly bitches and now they need to cash those chips in. So for the love of science, the next time an ugly ass bitch, some Sinead O'Connor looked mawfuqk, walks up to you with her titty out, please suck on it.