a best of list by La Kifo
Installment number two of my Best of 2016 series. Today we will discuss the categories of entertainment.
A couple of rules:
Last time, I kind of went rogue and had a few categories that I declared an overall best for. I don't know if that will happen again this time, but I am going to go with the flow of the blog so if there are overall bests, there are overall bests.
2016 was not an overall great year for movies. Although the pickings were slim, I did enjoy quite a few. I guess it is understandable considering the majority of the money in the movie industry is going into comic book movies. I don't think there was a lot of time or money spent on producing original material. A prime example is the first movie on the best list.
Applause for everyone, because this movie could possibly be the best of 2016 and it was made a lowly $58 million. That is a lot of clams, substantially less than a movie made in the same cinematic universe, X-Men: Apocalypse. The latest installment of the X-Men ran the same studio, 20th Century Fox, $178 million. Captain America: Civil War, cost $250 million. Finally, for the sake of comparison, Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice, cost a clean $250 million as well.
The crazy part is that Deadpool, is a better movie than all of them. Not because it was rated R, there was a rated R version of Batman v. Superman and it is far worse than the cinematic. There are a variety of things that make Deadpool, a great movie. Instead of me telling you what they are, you should probably just go watch it yourself.
What I will tell you is the Marvel cinematic universe will never reach its true potiential without Deadpool, and thus the X-Men. If Marvel had the change up of Deadpool and they did it the way Tim Miller made this one. On top of printing money every time they flash their logo, they would have a complete set of movies. All comic book adapted but despite that you could put them in nearly each different genres, but it's not like Marvel cares about the latter as much as they do the green.
The wierd thing about all the comic book movies that have been released over the past ten years is, what are they going to do in the next ten or twenty years?
Will they just reboot the characters that don't work until they do? How many Jokers, how many Supermans, will we have to go through? Look at what they did to Brandon Routh. Don't remember Brandon Routh, google him. Better yet I'll tell you, he starred as Superman alongside Kevin Spacey in one of the worst movies made in the 21st century, and most definitely a top three worst comic book adapted movie. Or will the studios keep adding to the existing storylines? Not to bring up Brandon Routh again but they tried doing that in his Superman movie and it was awful. It was far from the worst part but it still contributed to the movies demise. If you are going to create a cinematic universe, you might as well plow through the entire planned storyline and releases. Once you dedicate a significant sum like $250 million to a single project in the beginning phases of a long sorted plan, you shouldn't just change the course or scrap the entire plan.
2. Sausage Party:
Hilarious, not much else to say. Seth Rogen, Joe Rogan if I truly did not love most of what those two do, I would say they are a prime example of Crab People. I could totally say that, 'You really think that all talented funny famous people are different? Because they don't even have dissimiliar names. Crab people collectively write all the jokes, movies, tv shows. After a thousand years of 24/7 collective work creating jokes, movies and television, the Crab people grew weary, they got lazy. Either a slip up due to overwork or they are not even trying to fool us anymore. ' But I won't.
Huge fan of Seth Rogen, I was skeptical of Sausage Party, only because of the amount of hype behind this movie. Sometimes, when the wrong person says they think a movie is going to be awesome it can throw you into a mind pretzel. A mind pretzel that keeps you from spending $20 on a movie ticket to sit in at neck crank angle in a sticky poorly lit room with fifty strangers. Despite whatever factless judgement I had when the movie hit theatres, it was still the best comedy of the year.
3. Rogue One:
This tweener Star Wars movie did a lot in a small amount of time. The savaragery of this movie was great. It followed a path that I thought Disney would never follow, and they stuck to it. No cheap sell outs at the end either. While I did really enjoy this movie, I have to admit, if they cut almost every scene that did not involve the two lead characters, the outlaw girl and the silky spainard guy, it would have been sizably better. Some of the shit was not needed or maybe just misplaced.
Forest Whittaker. I don't get why people don't take the hint? Forest, Forest Whittaker, how about put him in a forest? Fat guys and sand are usually never a good mix, especially fat legless half robot people. No one wants to see that shit tanning on towel.
Also, I get this feeling that almost every general, admiral that works with or for the Empire is extremely incompetent. You would think for an organization whose infleunce and rule reign over an entire galaxy, they would have better middle management. There might be something wrong with the Human Resources department because time and time again there is some idiot calling the shots, doing the absolute wrong thing at any and every possible moment.
The best games I played, that could mean anything, but does it mean everything?
1. Scrabble, Sunday December 25th, 2016; 3:56 pm:
I have been told that I play a mean game of Scrabble. I've been told that because I refuse to play and I don't pay attention to people when they speak until they start to compliment me.
Hear ye, Hear ye, I, Thee casual Scrabble man of the decade played a dazzingly affair of letters and coma indusing small talk.
I hit like three triple word scores, at least a couple double word scores, and maybe more than four, double/triple letter scores combined. I finished somewhere north of 250, give or take 15. I won by less than 10 points surprisingly, I think. If Scrabble was not such a, 'we have nothing to talk about so let's do this', activity, then I would have cared enough in the moment to document my victory. But, Scrabble is Scrabble and the only thing worse than playing Scrabble is watching Scrabble.
2. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare Remastered:
My favorite online multiplayer game of all time. I paid $80 for the Infinite Warfare Legacy Edition, just so I could play COD 4. For those of you detached from the gaming world, if you buy the Infinite Warfare Legacy Edition, you get Infinite Warfare (a full game) and the remastered version of COD 4. The regular edition of Infinite Warfare does not come with COD 4 Remastered, it just comes with Infinite Warfare but the draining of self worth does not come with the game, it is more of a gradual process inflicted upon you as you play the game. Infinite Warfare is such a bad game that it takes away the possibility of remastered COD 4 being the best overall Game of 2016.
Sad. What is the point of making Infinite Warfare if everything (besides the Zombies) is so bad, most people won't spend an hour playing any of it (besides the Zombies). Call of Duty is more and more trying to turn themselves into games like Overwatch, and League of Legends. More of Overwatch and than League, but they turn maps into essentially professional paintball courses. They added in this hero power ability, to be fair this was not the first game to feature special abilities. The team that made Infinite Warfare, the same that made each COD with zombies in it (besides Modern Warfare, obviously the same guys made that, and Advanced Warfare, these guys did not make that game although there were zombies in the game. These special abilities were introduced in Black Ops 3, which was another game that was soul crushingly disapointing.
3. 7 Days to Die:
A strategy, open world, crafting, base building, zombie horde game. Not only is that a breakdown of 7 Days to Die but also my bio on match.com. For someone who is avidly seeking companionship and often found crying alone, I seem to get an awfully low amount of inquiries across all my dating app profiles.
For anyone who has played the game, the original version of the game has not officially been released. It is an early access game on the steam store. Yet, it was released on consoles this past year.
Now, I've spent far too much time playing this game. What I lost in valuable time, I gained in the form of zombie slaying sky bridge. I guess it is hard to explain but building shit and killing zombies is all I will ever need to be entertained. It is one of the main reasons I have been lobying for a zombie apocalypse, it seems for quite some time. It is an enviroment I would thrive in, some might say the only enviroment I could thrive in.
But, I do not consider myself the dis-graceful Polar bear. A pussy ass bitch of an animal, can't even live in more than one habitat. No, I consider myself comparable to the likenings of the bacteria, beings living in many different enviroments silmultaneously.
Onto the final category for the second of three best of list installments. This list consists of essentially the best songs I heard for the first time in 2016. It doesn't matter when the song was made, the only qualifications are that my first listen to the track has to have had happened in the year of 2016.
1. Break Me Down - Broke Witt Rebels
2. Jackie and Wilson - Hozier
3. Through and Through and Through - Joel Plaskett
4. pick up the phone - Young Thug, Travis Scott
5. Don't Stand a Chance - The Gromble
6. 40 Day Dream - Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
I'm not a big bandwagon music guy, so I don't really listen to that much new music. I guess that is pretty evident from the songs on the list. I'd be lying if I told you I knew Broke Witt Rebels, Joel Plaskett, and the Gromble other than these songs. In my earlier days, I used to follow specific artists very closely. If I liked one song, I figured I would probably like more. A staggering majority of the time it was disappointing.
For maybe four or five years, I've done a couple things when it comes to music that helped cut down on the time sucking task of finding music. The first was care less about music, and the second was care less about bands, groups, musicians and just care about the songs singularly. Obviously, there are bands and groups that I do listen to most of their shit but they are rarer than a 12 oz. steak from Outback.
I don't know why nobody told James Vandeer Beek the shakes are not a good touch. It's just unbecoming, and besides there is no need to be so sad. There is still one more installment of the Bests Lists
That's more like it James, but maybe put a shirt on.
That is much better.
Side bar; we should all strive to be James Van Der Beek. Who wouldn't want a name like that? It's gripping, engaging. Then you could consider how a man with a face like that could have a slightly worse Dad Bod and still pull it off. People of Earth must follow the Van Der Beek example, take the one good thing about yourself and shove it down peoples throats.
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