Ted "Muk" Cruz announced that Carly Fiorina as his Running Mate

a blog by La Kifo

Today Ted Cruz announced that Carly Fiorina will be his running mate and Vice President.

Washington Post:

Ted Cruz, in an apparent act of desperation, announced Wednesday that Carly Fiorina will be his vice presidential running mate if he is the Republican nominee for president.

Announcing a running mate is an unusual step that comes as he trails GOP front-runner Donald Trump by a wide margin and faces an increasingly narrow path to the Republican nomination.

The decision comes as Cruz is hoping to gain steam in what amounts to a must-win for him in Tuesday’s Indiana primary. The announcement came a day after Trump drubbed Cruz in five Eastern states and stretched his overall lead in delegates to the Republican convention to nearly 400.

Fiorina, a former GOP presidential candidate who endorsed Cruz in March, has been one of his most active surrogates. The former Hewlett-Packard chief executive has been an outspoken critic of both Trump and Democratic front-runner Hillary Clinton.

“If I am nominated to be president of the United States, I will run on a ticket with my vice presidential nominee, Carly Fiorina,” Cruz said at a Wednesday afternoon rally.

As Cruz finds himself farther and farther behind the burning dumpster fire that is Trump, he will have to find creative ways to bridge the gap. This is not one of them.

Carly Fiorina is the least worthy candidate of holding office the world has seen. People from her camp might say she was a successful CEO of Hewlett-Packard. Hewlett-Packard is the computer company HP, don't worry if you didn't know that I was in the same boat. The problem with her tenure at HP is that of what was said vs. what had happened. 

Fiorina says she was a successful CEO, but she wasn't. If you want to dive deep into her self proclaimed success at HP read this article by the Wall Street Journal. All you really need to know is that HPs stock dipped 55% over her tenure. Compare that to companies in the same industry over that time period and you will see this, Dell 5%, Cisco Systems Inc.'s 45%, IBM 31%.

I guess this move makes sense. The only other leather faced shrew of the 2016 republican candidates, the only other candidate whose face is just has the ability to turn people to stone. They might even be related. In this day and age it is very hard to find someone who shares the same snake like appearance and sociopathic mind.

I am not against a women as president, just this one. 

and the other one.

I don't know how many votes Cruz hopes to get by adding Fiorina to his campaign but it can't be a lot. Fiorina was a non factor throughout the running for GOP. She's just not good at anything, having her hold any type of office is not ideal, at the same time neither is having to look at and listen to Ted Cruz. 

It is no mystery I bash Ted Cruz but in all seriousness I like everything about him besides his face, skin, and voice. He is the perfect type of leader to bring us into total Armageddon or nuclear warfare or a zombie apocalypse. If elected president, Ted Cruz would scare thousands of countries into nuclear development, and there is nothing better for an apocalypse than a world fully entrenched in nuclear warheads.

So bring it on Cruz, I got my bomb shelter fully stocked, I got enough gasoline and generators to power The Garden. Only thing I don't have at this moment is guns. Cruzy will fix that for me though, by implementing something along the lines of buy a puppy, get a free gun national holiday.

Multi-purpose, the kids get to play with the dog, while the adults get to hunt the homeless. 

Its perfect. There is no society I want to live in where Ted Cruz is not the President.

Lets stop with the jokes, lets stop letting poor people vote and get the job done.

CRUZ '17