a blog by La Kifo
An old video is now making the viral rounds across the internet. A four year old youtube, has just now been seen by everyone on the internet. The reactions to what the video depicts may be disturbing, parental guidance suggested.
Ohh No, what an awful wrenched being that person may be.
Bringing a child to a baseball game. What a henous absolute crime against society. Bringing a child to any kid of sporting event should be considered as such. My many followers will note that I have procclaimed my hatred for children to the heavens. So for those of you who are not in shock, let us keep this train rolling.
I don't know if it is just me but a lot of internet people have been redditing and youtube to acquire the identity of the woman "caught" grabbing a baseball while standing next to a little girl. I guess that is cool, but what I really don't understand is why people are so up in arms about this four year old video. I saw the video provided above and below, four years ago, three years ago, two years ago, last year and I never had the reaction everyone else had. Is there something I'm not seeing?
What's the big deal?
The little girl didn't get to catch the ball? Who cares?
"That little girl, keef, you bastard!"
I guarantee that girl, who is four years older from the time the video was taken, will have a significantly better life without catching that baseball. For one, she earned an early realization that she does not give a fuck about baseball. Two, she got her first lesson in life. That being, life sucks not because it actually sucks but because of drunk people who are dumb enough to go to a Houston Astros game with their friends. Three, she learned nothing good ever happens when your standing next to Star Wars nerds. If anything, that little girl was lucky. She was just asking to get bodied standing next to someone wearing a level 10 squid R2D2 shirt.
I could keep going on, but of course, no one of the socially evolved internet has put any focus on that little girl. All they do is focus on the woman, the internet just keeps this ongoing train of hate towards women. She is clearly trying to have to good time, not bothering anyone. I know, for a fact, that this woman is not the only being on this planet to act in such a way. I saw a similar instance this past New Years. As adults, a lot of us dabble with alcohol. Some of us, not me, get so drunk they lose all equilabrium, mainly that of balance. You know the scenario, you get a few drinks in you. You're feeling yourself, your personal space bubble expands until it disappears entirely. Next thing you know you're face first on the tile floor of a bathroom looking like this.
Not a good look.
I am sorry for the truth, I am sorry it has to look so fiberious and raunchy but it does. More than half the reason adults go to sporting events is to drink. Maybe not drink as much as this little lady above but we want to get fucked up, and if you've had the amount of court documents filed with my name on it that I've had, then you know kids and alcohol do not mix.
For less than five minutes ago, I have been aggressively campaigning to change the way we distribute and regulate alcohol. What I have been proposing is a ban on children in places that serve alcohol.
Yes, I have been calling for the ban of children in other instances but this is much different than what I have proposed before.
Take a quick second, imagine the places that you consume alcohol.
Need some help?
Fancy restuarants like the 99 Grill and Pub
Now imagine a world without children in any of those places.
How amazing would that be? Approxiately 1.5x more amazing than that song. FUCK YEAH!
This is America people. America.
If the human race knew of an immenent attack and invasion of an outter worldy species, and the only hope for survival was to send the aliens a two minute video without real naration that encompases what it is to be American. One that is truly a reflection of what we are as a species, Americans, and if we didn't nail it on the head they would invade the planet, killing not only us but our beloved Earth. This is the video we would have to send them.
Yes, this controversional tape of an middle aged american women muscling down an 8 year old girl for a fucking baseball at a Houston Astros game is exactly what it means to be American, what it means to be free, what it means to taste the great grit of blue color work.
Follow Us Elsewhere