Another week of work, another week of Serious? Can you guess where were headed this week?
Florida. If you did not get that one, you should take a seat on the pine for the rest of the day. Chances are your not on your sharpest game today because like 90% of my stories come from Florida.
What Can I say its a fucked place.
CBS KTRV -
Authorities in Florida say a 36-year-old man stole a BMW after trying to buy it with his food stamp debit card and credit card.
According to the Martin County Sheriff's Office, Nicholas Jackson was denied by managers at an auto dealership when he tried to purchase the $60,000 BMW.
Authorities say the next night he returned to the business, stealing the car and keys to 60 other vehicles.
For Jackson, things would take an awkward turn. Deputies say he didn't have money to fill the tank in the BMW, so the car stalled and was traced back to the dealership.
Jackson was arrested and charged with grand theft auto. He is in the Martin County jail on $20,000 bond.
Serious? If you wanted to buy a car on the tax payers dollar just apply for car stamps, it is that easy.
Can you even buy cars with a credit card? Serious?
Why did this dude need to use a debit card and a credit card? How many stamps were on that debit card? Was he stocking up, hording his stamp points? This isn't some rewards program. Get enough frequent moocher miles and you could earn a brand BMW fully insured and paid for by your friendly federal government.
Wonder if bondsmen accept food stamp debit cards. I mean it didnt clear for $60 grand, it might for 20.
Pensacola News Journal:
A Crestview couple was arrested early Tuesday morning after a woman hit her husband in the back of the head with a burrito and he retaliated by stabbing her in the hand with a fork, according to an Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office social media post.
The incident happened at the Hare Street home of Suzanne Hurlvert, 51, and Carl Owen Smith, 66. Shortly before midnight, deputies responded to the home after receiving reports of a disturbance.
Still in the great state of Florida, cops just can't leave people alone. We are seeing two different sides to johnny law. This police department must have nothing better to do then bust into peoples private lives on a casual weekday morning.
I dont know what Crestview is like, but I am sure if your a cop in Florida you know the damage a taco bell burrito can do to a body.
Its shocking that these improvised weapons are FDA approved source of nutrition. I dont even think your allowed to bring any taco bell product on a plane, let alone one of their burritos. Now that constitutes a hostage situation.
Wielding one of these daggers should be classified as a class 3 felony whatever that means. I had a friend who dropped his burrito off a apartment building porch, it fell 2 stories. hit an small elderly women and broke her clavicle. Dangerous stuff. He almost got charged. Twice for that burrito.
He had to talk to the manager.
In the full report of the incident Suzanne was stated as being calm when they arrived. Of course she was calm, her boyfriend was in 10x the pain she was feeling. She felt fine enough to answer the door and speak with the police first. Carl on the other hand almost had a stroke on the ground while he was shitting his pants.
Kinda feel bad for these people. A simple early morning dispute turned into a violent assault that almost ended in multiple fatalities.
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Brian - Just a mild mannered kid/adult trying to figure out the way.
Big Red - If you don't chew Big Red then FUCK YOU