Russell Wilson and Ciara

a blog by La Kifo

Squid-master-flex, Russell Wilson, and Ciara had a beautiful wedding yesterday in England. In other related news, Future has been hospitalized for a third degree cuckolding. 

Meanwhile at the Lean Lair

I think I might actually have gained some respect for Russel Wilson.

Nah. Fuck Russell Wilson.

How one goes from having Futures kid, to giving over the pants handjobs to Russell Wilson is beyond me. What I do know is Russell Wilson is the type of dude a girl flirts with at the bar to get her "friend" jealous. Will another celebrity marriage fall into the depths of, "Oh yea, they were married", I certainly think so. 

Let me put this in a way Russell would understand. God wouldn't have given Russell the blessed victorious comeback in the NFC championship game, just to hand him a second consecutive Super Bowl victory in the waning seconds of the game. He was given that comeback victory in the NFC championship game so he could learn the ages-old lesson, don't fuck with Tom Brady. Didn't follow? God is teaching Ciara that even though Future may not be glamorous or politically correct, Russell Wilson sucks and that people like Russell Wilson suck. 

If you have done or would do any of the following then you are a Russell Wilson and you should probably change your life because I'm guessing you don't play in the NFL making millions of dollars every year.

1. You cry after winning something nearly meaningless, like $5 on a scratch ticket, computer chess, or the NFC championship game.

2. Your favorite and approved sex act is an over the pants handjob, something to do with ears, or the bellybutton. 

3. You rock a Jerry curl. 

4. Your favorite musician is Macklemore