Roger Goodell Wants Private Jet Access for Life

a blog by Kifo

Disgruntled negotiations over current NFL commissioner, Roger Goodell, and his contract have turned public. ESPN reported the long time NFL commish, whose life achievements include; beating Tom Brady in court, is seeking an annual salary of $50 million as well as, access to a private jet for life. 

The culprit behind this savage leak? It has to be none other than, perennial contender For the Boys: Best of 2017: Scumbags, category, Jerry Jones. The billionaire has had more than a fair share of disagreements with the current commissioner. 

Jones, to name a few, seemed to steam over the deflategate situation, national anthem kneelings, the owners meetings discussing the national anthem protest, and the suspension of his sucker punch throwing running backs six game suspension. 

He mad.

Jones needs to calm himself. I don't know how he does that, thousand dollar hookers, thousand dollar blow, million dollar penthouses, or maybe he justs gives a call to his good buddy/drug dealer Jim Irsay. All I know, it has not been a good year for people of the last name, Jones. 

I think the real problem is more so, the NFL owners creating a monster they cannot destroy. They took this man, Roger Goodell, and they stuffed all their sex scandals, drug dealing escapades, dirty dealings, corruption, collusion and plain o' secrets that they could, deep within the mans anus (Speculation, I do not know what orifice secrets are stuffed within Roger Goodell). 

What did they think was going to happen? Was there going to be a one man lockout? One man begging for a salary which, 99% of the world couldn't sniff? hmmm, ponder worthy, is it not?

Goodell has these old bags of skin in a corner and hes got a knife. 

If you want your pride Jerry, then you're gonna get stabbed, and we all know (or at least I) leaking the blood hes vampired from the young and virile will cause any person with vampiristic tendencies to shrivel up, uncontrollably, before shrinking, immeasurably, into a two inch flap of skin with a few hairs dangling from the side.

So, NFL, give the man a jet and his $50 million, secrets cost money.