Rating Reviews

a blog by Kifo

I am literally going to throw bits at the internet until one of them sticks; Introducing the newest weekly segment, Rating Reviews.

There is something deep inside each and every one of us. Not the Reptilians, but the humans. A deep desire, comparable, in intensity, to lust and greed. This yearning, calls for us to scream out opinions, loosely accurate accounts and damning accusations paired with insults.

PS: a better bit graphic will come next week. I am sick and there is nothing in this world that Kifo fears, dreads, or despises other than sickness. 

This Demon, is an ancient one. The likes of which cannot banished by the best of gods exorcists. Not even Bob Larson. 

By the way, I forgot to mention that the sadistic brainwash material known as, "Where the Wild Things Are" is the devils work if I have ever seen it. Which is coming from a Keef who watches a lot of network television and worked on a project for Sanofi US. I do understand, that we all as a society were very stoked on, "Where the Wild Things Are". Yet, what other proof need I present? The holy photo above is an exact depiction of biblical demons. The Lord will not allow you to sit there and deny the exact resemblance between the depictions of demons in the bible and the illustrations of the satanic book, "Where the Wild Things are". I just hope that chest hair is not a symptom of demonicism. Please if any of you know Demoniscian, please put him in contact with moi. 

Not even kidding, I really got to know whether or not this hair upon my chest will manifest itself into a demon. 

Sorry to distract, but as I was stating before: this inherited demon of ego is ruthless.

He generates a cloud of dark evil sorcery, containing the innocent souls of white christian murdered children, de-tusked Elephants, and Michael Moore. Shooting it directly out the moving tips of your fingers or the quivering lips of your mouth. You decide which. 

I particularly think that we choose to unleash spirit bombs, far more devastating through our fingers. 

This brings me to our first review. Our reviewer chose to give us a profile on the very much so, unknown, company Weber Shandwick. 

I pulled this mission statement from the Weber Shandwick website.

If the statement is a bit too blurry to read, I shall summarize. They basically are a company built on the basis of political correctness and social justice warrior ideals. I would never lie to you guys, so you must believe me when I say I wrote that description before I read the above mission statement. Just to further clarify, I wrote it before reading and I still didn't need to make a single edit. 

This mission statement is a bit alarming considering the review given to us by the internet. 

Interesting, it seems we have learned more about this company from this review than from their own mission statement. Despite my earlier predictions, this company does actually have a business model and at least they are attempting to generate revenue, unlike a few American Companies (General Motors, Chrysler, and Ally Bank). At least, Weber Shandwick did not approach Congress and ask for billions of dollars from the American people. At least, this company took money from a Foreign Dictators Government (The Egyptians). At least, they did not put the burden of payment on the American People. Besides what are you complaining about guy?

Al-Jazeera reported on July 26th, the company, Weber Shandwick, cut ties with the Egyptian General Intelligence Service earlier that month due to this article posted by The Atlantic. Read it for yourself if you care because I don't. 

But I did care enough to capture this small piece of the article.

So I don't think I need to tell this dude that comparatively, this shit ain't so bad. General Motors received $51 billion in the form of an investment from the government. Now this subject of Auto-Industry bailouts is fairly complicated. What I shall say is the government essentially purchased GM for $51 billion and sold it at loss, $39.7 billion. 

On to the next one.

picture is huge so you bitches can read it

John Smith has some very harsh words for a place that seems like a genuine human care coalition.

If you ask me, it seems a bit ironic that a profile, without a photo, with a name like "John Smith", claims that the reviews of this human care coalition are fake. 

How could this hospital be abusing its patients? If you have been stuck under a rock on the edge of the Ice Wall

Then you would probably wonder who this woman on the left side of the photo is. Well Asshole, that is famed WNBA player, former New York Liberty Shooting Guard and current Los Angeles Sparks Small Forward, Essence Carson.

So I would like to ask this bigot, obvious racist, nazi named John Smith, do you really think this hospital does not care for its patients or do you think that this hospital only cares for its minority privileged races? Damn Demonic Racists.  

If you've been with us for more than a blog, you gotta know the way this works. We rarely, "save the best for last". Fuck that, whoever passed on that statement genetically is a morose bigot, racist fascist, oppressive sociopathic white supremacist Nazi. Keef does what the people want and what he wants. Not saying that Keef has got his ear to the ground, it would be more likely that he has tongue jammed up your asshole.

To be honest, this review even confused me and I only flipped a card once in 3rd grade. I had to do some detective work in order to understand, Big Apple Stores, is a combination of Cumberland Farms if they served shitty coffee and weeks old pastries...

Apparently, the gas is typically worse than the food.

Now this guy might just be a dick.

I think I forgot to leave his name out...

Anyway, don't take any information from me, a Keef that has never been to Big Apple Stores.

I guess the only thing I gotta say to these people is in jeopardy form. What is, What Do you expect?

I am fairly certain we are all talking about a convenience store right? Is there any need for reviews of chain convenience stores? Probably not, Check that, Definitely not. 

If your bullshit meter does not activate when questioning whether the food inside the small store next to the gas pump will give you morning sickness or not, then please, go ahead and walk right off the Ice Wall.