Miraculous Whip

What is Miracle Whip? I hear on the streets Mayo is better then Miracle Whip. The Miracle Whip bottle says "Salad Dressing". That does not
Make sense.

If Mayo is better than Miracle Whip then it's just Mayo. But does that mean that Mayo is supposed to be a salad dressing? Cole slaw, potato salad, yea I know about those but that's not real salad. Both of those foods are things I regularly eat. Why? Because its fuckin tasty. Salad is not supposed to taste good. Insert cliche about vegetarian people. Fuck salad. Salad is something I eat after a night of way to many mcdoubles or a week of straight pizza. It's not something I enjoy, I just do it. "Hey, if you don't like it why do you eat it?" Great question, go fuck yourself.

If Mayo is better than Miracle Whip and Miracle Whip is Mayo, then how can one be better than the other? If they are the same thing, what the fuck is this mystery difference that has people in the streets so riled up.
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Did anyone at Miracle Whip ever think, "Hey maybe we should tell people why Miracle Whip is different than Mayo, before we start filming a commercial about how some people think Miracle Whip sucks".

Apparently not.

Just to clarify people who use Mayo-Miracle Whip, whatever it is, on salad, real salad. You should probably consult your physician.
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