a blog by La Kifo
I don't know or care about anything that is or was the Met Gala, but there were some really beautiful people in attendance. Just a heads up that blood flow inducing photo ain't from this year. Just a super "good" look by B.
I feel like someone always falls at these things. Jason Derulo apparently tumble rolled down an entire flight of stairs.
Turns out, this happened last year AND this is not Jason Derulo. So thanks to the douche that posted that photo to twitter and confused me.
Don't know who this absolute dime is posing next to Jason Stathham, but she burnt the forest down on her way over there. For ranking purposes I am gonna call her Statham girl, because she might be number 1. If not number 1, then 2. It's not even a revealing dress and some shit is happening downstairs. I better move on before anything more happens.
These two are so fucking weird. Kims ass looks like a impractical lampshade. Or an over-sized medicine ball, a drug dealers watermelon, what else can we say... a tumor? What if that was actually the reason why her ass is so abnormally huge? In full disclosure that would suck in all aspects. Cancer sucks, it is not fun and nobody should wish cancer upon anyone, even an enemy. Second I would have to actually stop making fun of her, that's no fun. That family gives us such great material.
The amount of gloss and chrome has been disgusting. I love Brie Larson but she did not look her best yesterday. It's okay Brie, we all still wanna plow you or just marry you without a prenup , then leach off of your talent and hard work.
I am pretty sure this is the older Hadid sister. It might not be, I don't care though. She is super sexy. Goes to show you how much pull a good voice has with the ladies.
Queen Bee wearing a latex dress. At least her ass is out in full force.
Rita Ora looking gorgeous in all them feathers. She makes me want to pluck each one of those feathers right off.
I guess becky with the good hair wasn't Rita Ora either. Hmmm, all signs are pointing towards Rihanna. doesn't make sense because Rihanna doesn't have great hair, and she ain't no becky.
Sucks to be Beyonces sister. Really sucks. Why even bother showing up?
Katy Perry might have pulled a tan face on us. As a tan person, I am extremely offended and demand an apology. You can't just glob make up on a pale becky and expect it to be okay. Not to mention she looks as if the 101 dalmatians, tore and ate Cruella Deville, shit her out then put her back together like clay. If your crew lets you go out that way, it is time to find a new crew.
Gigi Hadid, so hot right now. She is super sexy but the issue is she looks dangerously young. Every time I see her, I do a double take to make sure she is who I think she is.
This Zayn dude coming in strong with the Iron Man arm plates.
Why would you ever wear something like that in public? Unless they gave you Iron Man powers. I would be so down for that, doesn't matter how fucking dumb anyone would look wearing them, you get to be Iron Man. Totally worth it.
Katie Holmes looking very good. I always liked her and it killed me when they replaced her as Rachel in Nolans Batman trilogy. Such a shame, especially since they put Gyllenhall in her place, such a downgrade.
No clue who this chick is, and I am probably going to say that way too much over the course of this blog. What I do know, is this is some Xerxes looking shit going on.
You will see, that I am kind.
Not that kind to the majority of people photographed here.
I want to say I hate this look from Tay Tay, but I don't know shit about fashion, it just looks stupid. I don't get it, and I hope I never do. That thing she is wearing looks like she skinned Viserion and took some of that Mad Max chrome spray to the dragons remains.
I recognize the face, I do not remember the name. Insert overused non-creative Dr. Seuss joke. Seriously though, she had to get that doo from hoo ville.
Another one, have no clue what your name is lady or why you are relevant but damn. She's in the top 3 and I haven't seen half of the photos. I'm gonna call her gold dress for ranking purposes.
Yet again, do not know this ladies name, but she rocks the shit out of that.... Rouge? Yea rouge. Usually I ain't into the whole afro scene, but this chick killed it, super sexy.
Margot Robbie nothing fancy but ooh wee is she sexy.
Looks like Tyga was at the Met Gala, looking like an idiot in whatever he is wearing. A bedazzled half jacket with hobbit shoes.
Yea hobbits don't wear shoes, but if they did it would be what Tyga is wearing.
Hilarious and not surprising the rap boys straight chillin without him. Melo looking dapper on the left and ODB looking like his usual 1980s pan sexual self.
I have no clue what pan sexual means.
Olivia Wilde is hot, just not when shes pregnant. Also she is the most overrated chick in the game. I know people who will swear by saying she is the hottest women alive. I don't see it, she has a worse hairline than Stephen A. Smith
No words, the queen of I am fat and do not care, deal with it jokes. I don't care about you, so stop purposefully going to events like this so you can put deodorant between your legs and be a champion of beckys! WOO go public relations!
Emma Watson, oh my god. The things I would do just to shake her hand are downright unpleasant. If I had to choose a celebrity wife, a thousand million percent choosing Emma every time. British accents get me, and being attractive.
I think this is the chick from Entourage. Sloan, E's girlfriend. Stunning, absolute dime. Get me in a room with her and I would probably pass out the second I saw her.
When Lorde said she was ugly, I didn't think she meant this ugly. Whatever, do you, I still kinda respect your music. I wonder if the cast goes with the look.
Fake titties, fake ass, I'm still more than down to get on top of that.
Nikki Minaj, people, I was talking about Nikki Minaj not the weird dude in the Dia de los Muertos get up.
Very underwhelming for Selena here, if this is Selena. Still love her to the grave though and sometimes you gotta go basic just to keep everyone on their toes.
No clue who this is. Just a little FYI, we are not at NASA.
Blake Lively, I think, looking good. I never understood the super long dress thing. It's so impractical, kinda like the person wearing it is begging to fall. Flowers coming out of the breasts is a nice touch, some nice flair.
Don't know her, but I really want to. While this thing she has on does look like she is Snow White and about to battle the evil witch with her brave brave huntsmen.
By the way, Kristen Stewart looked like garbage, don't try and lie to me fashion twitter. She looked so bad that my near permanent chub going through this was ruined by throwing Stewart in the mix. I can only put up so many gross looks and Maddona took my sight and blood away with her look. I never thought I would be telling a women to put on more clothes.
Gross. We can see you holding up your flabby ass you witch.
Maddona is going to start the rapture.
The Met Gala was a success this year, unless you count any year that Maddona attends a failure. In that case, anyone with that train of thought couldn't have been more right if they tried. How does she not understand that shes like 60, gross, and saggy. No one wants to see your flabby pale body being held up by clothe. Like I said it's gross.
On to the rankings.
I am just gonna toss nominations to people, because honestly ranking them is a waste of time. If your on this list, you pretty much lost anyway so why does it matter how much you lost by?
Katy Perry - Speechless, I have nothing really to say that I haven't already. Terrible night for her.
Maddona - I can't lie, every night is a terrible night for Maddona. 0 percent chance she was invited to the after party. 100 percent chance she goes anyway.
Tyga - Super embarrassing to be left out of the the one group dude photo of the night.
Solange Knowles - How the hell do you get convinced to be dressed in a Halloween cupcake costume. Also, is Beyonce allowed to do anything for herself? Or is Solange just going to do everything? Attack her husband for cheating, promote her new album by wearing something ridiculous and yellow. Solange is the muscle behind the bee hive.
Hottest of the night:
3. Gigi Hadid - Her man really let her down with the half Tony Stark look. If he was just not in one of those photos, she might have gotten a bump up. Thanks a lot Zayn, you ruin everything.
2. Gold Dress - I did not take the time to figure out her name, because I don't need to. The only time I would use her name is at the Met Gala, and that happens once a year. I ain't gonna learn rando's names for a single event.
1. Jason Statham Girl - It speaks or itself. She absolutely made my pants, I mean jaw drop as soon as I saw her. Breath taking beauty. Plus she is blonde and that is my thing. It is a gift and a curse, but one that I live with. Also she gets points for Statham dressing dapper and with some serious swag. That guy is a boss, former competitive diver turned action movie star. Now he's got the hottest girl at the Met Gala. Just hope that he can/is allowed to seal the deal. That would be a story that transcends time, it would be told until the end of days. The time that Jason Statham slayed the hottest women at the Met Gala. Mad respect for just having her on your arm bro, nice job. I would give my fertility away to be a bead of sweat on that girl.
Wow that was weird, let's just end this here before I say something I regret much more than that.
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