As of no more then 4 hours ago today at 8:27 pm on March 3rd, 2016 Marco Rubio announces he will no longer run for office. The Florida senator remarked that he would become a private citizen once his term as Florida senator ends in 10 months.
As a man who rarely is surprised, I was surprised. Big Lil Dick on Campus. That was Marco Rubio. He was the next one in line, apparently or apparently not. Rubio was proclaimed as THE rising star in the republican party. He was a non traditionally skinned candidate, who also happened to be a second generation immigrant. He had everything that the republican party wanted to lure the minority vote with and now he is gone, gone like the wind.
What a sackless bag of dicks.
Why don't we get a boo hoo parade going right now?
Here was a guy who was supposed to make a strong push for the GOP nomination not just this year if he did not win but for years to come. He had the likeness of Fox News calling him the next big guy for the conservative movement. He almost singlehandledly solved the Flint Michigan water crisis every time he took the stage.
If you ask me, I am glad he is gone. I don't want someone who sweats as much as this frenchmen on the left to lead my country. You can not trust people who sweat that much from standing. One day your looking at the President of the United states the next your looking at this
Were not in the Beauty and the Beast, guys. This is America, Merica'. Stop fucking sweating so much. I would really like to know how much he sweats doing other things, things that require a bit more physical endurance than standing and talking. Like for example, running, having sexual intercourse, sitting.
I think I would really love to see the man sit. Just have him sit for like an hour and a half while I ask him meaningless questions about things that the general public thinks are important.
Another thing about this fucking weirdo, the way he drinks water is fucking ridiculous.
What did you think we wouldnt notice? Your eye lock stare at the camera not only makes me and my fish uncomfortable but many of the nations kindergarten students. You don't need to maintain eye contact the whole time bro, this isnt the last slow dance of the night at the 8th grade formal. Calm down, because the look your giving us through the preview frame of youtube, seems like your about chug down my life form.
He is not a bad politician, unless you consider a politician who can not win a primary in the state he is serving a term under to be bad. It is not like he got burried by the other candidates. What burried him was not even a living form of life.
Marco Rubio GOT BURRIED BY WATER.
I mean that is the only logical explanation for this. Water had it out for him from the get go. There is not another person on this planet that water hates more then Marco Rubio.
Is it racist? Is water racist? such a time bending question. It seems as if we have been asking mankind this for centuries. Can water have a prejudice? If we look back into American history we can see the social experiments conducted on water and preference to skin color, when the USA decided to separate water fountains for "Whites" and "Colored". Or was it actually the water who did that? I have first hand proof that this social experiment went into effect to further understand the properties and personality of water. These experiments showed Americans little to nothing about the water we have grown to love. What reason do you ask? Well it is a long story, one that starts and ends with corrupt data files. Who corrupted those files, I don't know, water, the government, OBAMA. Could have been anyone.
Now that just leaves us folks with one question left. What the fuck is he talking about?
What I am talking about is the prohibition of Marco Rubio, by water. You've all seen it. The videos, the pictures. Water simply refuses to stay inside of Marco Rubio and fights hard not to be put there in the first place.
Side note. There is a lot of rumors swirling around that Marco Rubio has a toupee and if that is true which it 100% is not, then he would have the best worst toupee in the history of the game. Like I said if his head is a toupee, how can it look so bad number one, number two how do you keep it on that solidly?
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