a blog by La Kifo
A Michigan man was arrested for possession of gun and marijuana. Another typical day in Michigan, the real story is what the Police found in the mans car. What's inside the box? You'll have to click read more to find out.
WJBK:A man is arrested for illegally having a gun and marijuana - while also holding a box of live baby squirrels.
"Obviously you never know what you're going to find when you are digging into a vehicle," said Police Chief Brad Kersten.
A week ago in Chesterfield Township Ian Breiholz was going through a garbage bin. Cops were called and found a gun, some medical marijuana, and more.
"The individual was arrested and a subsequent search of the vehicle turned up a cardboard box of with some squirrels," Kersten said. "Some baby squirrels on the inside."
What's in the box? What's in the fucking box? Fine ill tell you. This dude had a box full of baby squirrels.
I totally understand this dude. As a kid, I was obsessed with squirrels. I did a 10 page project on every different species of squirrel in the 3rd grade. To say I am jealous of this guy, might be a little much. But there is some envy brewing.
I would never want to go to jail, but I would love to have a box of squirrels. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that this guy was hoarding squirrels, and trying to make his own squirrel colony. We are all sure that this man had good intentions, but you can't create a society of squirrels under tyranny. Squirrels don't fuck with that shit.
You gotta build a squirrel sanctuary. A 30-30 foot space with some small trees, little burrows, and plenty of stuff to climb. The next thing your're gonna want to do is elect a supreme leader. Little known fact, Squirrels respond well to squirrel leadership. Like I said before, they don't fuck with inter-species rule. The last thing you're gonna have to do in order to complete the sanctuary, is plant a large oak tree in the center of the space. That acts as the supreme leaders castle, and as a source of food.
Do all that and you will have such an exceptional squirrel sanctuary that PETA won't be able to touch you. Now that I think about it, I might have to make a squirrel sanctuary of my own. It would fulfill one of my lifelong dreams.
Follow Us Elsewhere