Maine Doesn't Deserve to be a State
a blog by La Kifo
Spitting hard takes up in my moms house. Maine once again has proved their insolence. George Stevens Academy in Blue Hills, Maine conducted a forty year experiment on a Twinkie.
What began as an impromptu chemistry experiment in 1976 has left the small private school home to the world’s oldest Twinkie. Chemistry teacher Roger Bennatti, who has since retired from teaching, began the experiment during a lesson on food additives and shelf life when a student expressed curiosity about the lifespan of a Twinkie.
To answer, he gave his students a few bucks and sent them to a store. They returned with a package of Twinkies. After popping the first one in his mouth, he placed the second one on the blackboard. “Let’s see,” he said.
Forty years later, the Twinkie remains, though its exact location has since changed. After leaving George Stevens Academy in 2005, Bennatti passed the Twinkie down to Libby Rosemeier, who had been a student in that very chemistry class and now serves as the school’s Dean of Students. The Twinkie remains on display in a glass box in her office and has become, in many ways, the school’s claim to fame.
Before I get too deep into this, lets define what a Twinkie is. Wikipedia describes the snack as, "Golden Sponge Cake with Creamy Filling". I may be wrong, but I'm fairly certain that the point of sponge cake is that it lasts for a long ass time.
I just find that the dumber the teacher, the dumber the student. No wonder Maine is such a shitty state. It's hard to cultivate a progressive culture or intellect, when you have Chemistry teachers doing stupid shit like this. What are the qualifications for becoming a teacher in Maine? Finish the hot wing challenge at The Handy Slut?
How is it scientific to sit and watch a snack designed to have a long shelf life, as it decomposes? How is that sanitary? Can't this teacher just take 5 minutes to explain the processes of decomposition, preservatives, and spongeness instead of 40 years?
I'm sorry, just because something is old doesn't mean it's cool or significant. This Twinkie has not survived 40 years. To survive that long would imply that the snack is still edible. From the looks of it, I wouldn't eat it. Would you? That thing looks like a chalkboard eraser.
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