a blog by La Kifo
I was doing my usual thing on the internet and I came across something pretty incredible.
*This will be a mini series and each of the steps will be released periodically. Here is step one.*
A website called affairhandbook.com has laid a formula on how to cheat and not get caught.
44% of the adult population in America is single, so this one is for you 56% as I will walk through how to cheat and not get caught.
Step One - Make a Plan
My first thoughts on this guide, way too fucking long. The first step has over six paragraphs. Half of them are just a lecture on the morality of cheating. The fact that someone is reading this bullshit means they don't really care. So a bit of advice, lay off the holier than thou crap. No one believes whoever wrote this is generally doing a good thing.
Four paragraphs in, and we finally get some actual advice. They claim that the biggest mistake one makes when in affair mode is basically leaving any kind of electronic foot print. So that means clear your web history, text messages, avoid repeated calls, use cash instead of check or credit cards. Ways to avoid making those mistakes are using Google Chrome, more specifically it's incognito window feature which will fail to leave any trace of the weird shit you've been doing on the web. Next is to get a new email, which I don't think is a good idea since someone can still track you to the url of your "secret email. I would say use snapchat, I guarantee it is a lot easier to use than making a separate email. The final way is to get some prepaid shit, like a cell phone and debit card. The debit card is stupid, just carry around cash. There is no need to do the prepaid debit cards because you have to pay a certain percentage every time you make a purchase. That ends the make a plan step which was very vague and offered little to no help.
Based on what these guys have to say, here are my quick pointers on planning an affair.
One thing they mentioned quite a bit, was instead of having an affair with someone involved in your life, you should definitely use a dating website instead. Ones like Ashley Madison, it's not like they are going to get hacked and reveal the identities of their users. In case you can't read sarcasm, fuck dating sites. It is all about the dating apps now. My advice, use tinder and bumble.
Now you can't just simply download tinder and bumble to your phone, that is a great way to get caught. What you have to do is, get a prepaid phone, download tinder, bumble, and snapchat. Then here comes the real gritty part, make a second facebook account. When doing this, it is very important to not catfish people. You will get called out for catfishing if you manage to get that far. Put the best photos you got on your new Facebook and link that to a tinder account, it is important that you're second Facebook has a different name.
All you have to do now is have some good tinder game, Red can help you out with that. Also bring cash, use only cash and you should be set. Just don't get caught with this on your playlist.
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Brian - Just a mild mannered kid/adult trying to figure out the way.
Big Red - If you don't chew Big Red then FUCK YOU