I Might Actually Watch the Olympics this year

a blog by La Kifo

The Olympics have never interested me. Sorry that I'm not into people throwing Javelins and running 150 feet. But this year might be different, a slew of things may go wrong this year in Rio and you'd be stupid not to watch the house of cards tumble.

Associated Press:

Rio de Janeiro's acting governor warned Monday that the Olympic Games could be a "big failure," because of budget shortfalls that threaten to compromise security and mobility during the games.

In an interview with Rio's O Globo daily, Francisco Dornelles said the state is still awaiting a 2.9 billion Brazilian real ($860 million) payout from the federal government aimed at shoring up state coffers ahead of the Aug. 5-21 event. The funds were allocated last week but have not yet reached the state, and Dornelles warned that without them, police patrols may grind to a halt by the end of the week, for lack of gas money.

"How are people going to feel protected in a city without security," Dornelles was quoted as asking.
"I'm optimistic about the games, but I have to show reality," he said. "We can have a great Olympics, but if some steps aren't taken, it can be a big failure."

The governor of Rio is saying that this could be a big failure, how could that not spike your interest? Not only does Rio have little to no control over what happens in their state at the moment, but they have no reliable transportation system. The state of Rio is waiting for 1 billion real ($290 million USD) to complete their metro project. So on top of being virtually unprotected, you are essentially stuck in Rio. A single drunk anger riot from a losing country could turn into a massive mob destroying and hurting people. 

Now, I'm not saying I WANT this to happen, but wouldn't that be cool? I mean, I'm not Brazilian, I don't give a fuck about Rio. It would be some entertaining television to watch a city burn with no real way of containing the destruction. It’s not that I would like to see the city destroyed but I am fairly certain that the people who choose the Olympics location were told not to put them in Brazil. Or that might have been the World Cup and what ever slave infested desert they put it in.

Look at what just happened yesterday.

CNN:

A beach goer Wednesday discovered human body parts that had washed up on the shore, right in front of the Olympic Beach Volleyball Arena on Rio's famed Copacabana beach.

A dismembered foot and another body part still unidentified was found, according to Andre Luiz, an officer of the Military Police. Police believe the victim was a woman or young adult.  ​

That is not a good look. Dead bodies washing up on shore, I guess Brazilians don't know how to tie knots. All you need to do is get some string tie it to a foot or some limb then tie the other end to a cinder block. Boom, body floating up on the shore problem solved.

Instead of spending so much money on police or metros, they should put that money into a tie tying seminar so that mistakes like this do not happen when attempting to dump a body. 

Realistically, we could see some harrowing shit this Olympics and you don't really want to be the dude who missed it. Stayed tuned with the boys for all your fucked up Olympics coverage, but not really. You can stay if you want to, we got chips and magazines.