I am out on Beyonce

a shocking confession by La Kifo

After last nights Grammy's, which I would have had to die and gone to hell in order to be seen watching live, I have come to a very unpopular realization, I hate Beyonce. 

Hate might be a strong word, but how else would I grab you? By being a quality writer? Ha. No I don't hate Beyonce, I'm just totally out when it comes to her.

Before I go any further, let us establish a few obvious things:

1. Beyonce is still hot
   -Just because I am out on her as a whole does not mean I do not appreciate a beautiful women when I see one. At the same time, she is not this flawless piece of art. She is a human and a very middle aged sexy one.
2. I am not out on her because she is black
   -This one is something I shouldn't have to say.  Beyonce being a pompous, self indulgent, self important shit sniffer has nothing do with her appearance. It most likely has to do with her rabid cult like fan base and far too large off shore bank accounts. 
3. I don't hate Lemonade 
   -I never listened to it so I really don't have an opinion on the music. As for the fake news story behind the music, I also don't care about that. Smart move by her, she got a fuck-load of publicity and trending time because of the fake substance inside those songs. She got people I respect clamoring over her, which I have to give props for. 

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But why am I out on Beyonce? Let me tell you I am 1 minute in to her Grammys performance and I've already decided to finish this blog as opposed to watch the rest of her performance.  What I don't get is are all empowered women Egyptian? I also don't get the gold. Why is there so much gold? 

I get it, you want a performance that makes people think, that sways public opinion, that enlightens people to a greater truth. But what greater truth do you know that I don't? And how am I supposed to take a life lesson seriously when your adorned head to toe with what I can only assume is a consistent 22 karats? 

100% honesty (maybe for the first time) why would I listen to someone lecturing me when at the same time as they speak to me, they are displaying their vast wealth past the point of gloating?

A big aspect of teaching, in any form, is making that subject relate-able. 

I don't really see how donning gold head to toe would make me want to learn about Beyonces mother perspective. I don't mean to trivialize women, but I do mean to trivialize Beyonce. I guarantee there is nearly nothing in Beyonces life that is challenging.  Of course there are exceptions, like giving birth, that blows, but are we going to pretend that Beyonce is not a huge recording artist, celebrity, industry godsend, walking saleswoman. Beyonce could spend $10,000 a day, strictly from her own net worth, and die before she spent it all. I just did the math, and unless she is going to live for the next two hundred years, she should be fine financially. 

If there is one good thing about this country, it is that if you have money, you are good.

The big big big thing that I don't get is how the thousands of people watching these stupid award shows don't get tired of it. They are all the same over-produced, pompous, big dick displays of boring people talking about boring things. 

How can people not find it odd that when they were announcing Best Contempary Album, each nominee was sitting at their seat. Except for Beyonce. 

Fucking Beyonce, was backstage, centered in front of a camera blankly staring into as if she was waiting. Of course, she wins and walks out on stage like they practiced giving her this award for months. 

People! She is literally 3 steps from the award show stage! Everyone's freaking out, "Oh MY FUCK BEY, I FUCKING LOVE YOU BITCH, BEYHIVE FOR LIFE bitches". How blind are you? SHE WAS THREE STEPS FROM THE FUCKING STAGE. And that is not the only hate-able move Bey pulled while accepting an award of which the parameters are lost to me. 

Don't tell me otherwise, but Beyonce was the only one, THE ONLY ONE, to walk out with what Beyonce walked out with. 

A fucking 22 karat gold card. Are you fucking kidding me? This is the voice for women between the ages of 12-49? This bitch carrying gold all over her body? Fuck, people. Don't you think it makes a lot of sense that a society so obsessed with it's celebrities like Beyonce, Rihanna (I love Rihanna just an example cuz she hot AF), Mark Cuban, Peyton Manning, Conor McGregor, James Dean, Rock Hudson would allow someone like Donald Trump to become president? YES, YOU IDIOTS.

Anyone complaining about Donald Trump being president, don't be a hypocritical douche and unequivocally love Beyonce/other celebrities. Anyone in love with Donald being our president, don't be a hypocritical douche and unequivocally hate Beyonce/other celebrities.

So, long story short, I am out on Beyonce.