a blog by La Kifo
Look for this segment across all of our media platforms. In this segment we will be giving away free consulting for businesses. Ya know ways they can improve, marketing schemes everything that consultants do. Disclaimer: If you do take our ideas, they cease to be free. We will take either 5% royalty or $10,000.
Today we are looking at a Bay Area business that specializes in a new media platform that sends messages via potato. Potato Parcel is the name and delivering potatoes is their game.
So my first bit of advice I got for this guy is figure out a way to make your potato delivery digital. That way you can have your clients message each other instantly. Imagine that, a world where we can send 7 character phrases on a potato digitally. I don't think there is anything on the internet even close to that model. I am not gonna get into the logistics of how to do this cuz that ain't job. I am the ideas man.
My second bit of advice, EXPAND. Everyone knows the best way to grow revenue is to expand your user base tremendously. I am talking putting a HQ in Idaho, sales teams in SoCal, Boston, New York, Miami all the hot spots. Also, you're gonna want to hire a lot more employees. Your gonna need people to wash the floors, bathrooms. Then your gonna need people to sit at desks, then your gonna need people to handle IT, then your gonna need a manager for that branch, then your gonna need a manager for that manager, lastly your gonna need a consultant to the managers manager. Believe me that is probably half the amount of staff your gonna want.
The final bit of advice I have for this business is change your message platform. People don't really like potatoes unless they are in a salad or mashed and I don't think you can send mash potato messages. Try maybe putting your messages on paper. I don't think a lot of people are doing that. If people are going to pay you to send potato messages they most likely will pay you to send paper messages. The thing about paper is it's way cheaper than potatoes and you don't have to move your HQ to Idaho.
To be honest, I don't think this business has a chance but with these consulting ideas I have laid out, I think they can succeed. Just remember 5% royalty or 10k, either one works and make the check payable to FTB INC.
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