Escape turned Rescue when naked burglar suspect falls off Cliff

Fox News:

Authorities in Oregon had to make a bizarre rescue on Saturday: free a naked burglary suspect who plunged 30 feet and was dangling by his leg from a tree.

Steve Burton, 30, had been swimming naked in a nearby river and decided to dry off in a home alongside the river that he apparently believed he owned, Stuart Roberts, the chief of the Pendleton Police, told FoxNews.com.

Burton entered the home -- which was unlocked -- and found Gail Wilson, a former corrections officer who has muscular dystrophy. Burton, who did not know the woman, reportedly said, “Hi, honey.”

“He had this big grin on his face,” Wilson told The East Oregonian. “He came walking toward me with his arms open wide. I kept saying, ‘Get away from me! Get out of my house!’”

After the brief exchange, Burton made his way around the home, Roberts said. Wilson, in the meantime, alerted police and officers arrived to find Burton -- who was still in the buff -- standing outside.

The suspect made a run for it and scaled the property's fence, Roberts said. One problem: there was precious little space between the cliff and a 40-foot drop to the river. Burton stumbled and ended up falling over.

Responding officers did not hear a splash or any sounds normally associated with an impact. When they investigated, they found Burton hanging by his right foot wedged between the branches of the tree, Roberts said.

It took a group of rescuers three hours to remove Burton from the tree. Throughout the entire ordeal, the suspect remained combative and verbal with the officers, Roberts said. When he was removed from the tree and was on a skiff, he grabbed a deputy’s gun, but was stopped by other officers.

“He was combative the entire time,” Roberts said.

Christ, fuckin hippies man. This guy 100% already has a record for breaking and entering, or indecent exposure, or public nudity, or drug possession. Hippies out west though, they do some crazy shit. Especially in Oregon. Oregon is hippy central, there is a lot of undeveloped land, overall a poor state so no very urbanized state, and not as many police. A terrible recipe for law abiding citizens of the great northwest. 

Another thing, this guy definitely does not have a home. Apparently he says he thought the house he went in was his, bullshit, you don't have a house bro. 

People with houses don't just swim up rivers totally nude. People with houses do not try to hug total strangers while they are naked in a house they have never seen before. Lastly people with houses do not run from the police if they got confused about houses, and they don't trip over 40 foot cliffs. 

The location of this story is very convenient. If this happened in any other state, it would be stirring up the pot.

This dude tried to grab one of the cops gun. A lot of people might say if circumstances were different this would have ended much differently. No it would not. Don't forget this happened in Oregon. Shit like this happens constantly in Oregon. The hippy population is out of control over there. Cops are constantly dealing with high as fuck hippys, naked hippys, and just plain stupid hippys. I am sure this is page 6 news in the Oregonian. Also, this naked hippy was naked and on the floor of a boat with cops surrounding him. It would take more time for the cops to pull out their guns and shit this dumbass then it would have to prevent him from taking the gun in the first place. If they did shoot the guy instead there is a chance the hippy could get the weapon and fire off some rounds before he dies. And the most important factor, if they shoot him the boat will have a bunch of holes and the boat will sink.

Then your in the river with a bloody hippy, and you don't want to absorb any of that. A single drop of hippy blood has a different effect on some, but most have less than a year before they become full hippy. It is a long and painful process, not just for the subject but his family. He eventually grows completely detached from all and any immediate family and moves to west coast to back pack up and down the coast until they get murdered by a serial rapist or overdose on jenkum.