a blog by La Kifo
A substitute teacher was caught in coitus with a student inside of a cemetery. Try and make this shit up, you can't. Well you might.
Police are investigating after they say a substitute teacher was caught allegedly having sexual intercourse with a student in a Pennsylvania cemetery.
Authorities say on May 6, in the area of the Easton Cemetery, Kelly Aldinger, 49, and a 17-year-old male were found engaged in sexual intercourse by an Easton Police patrol officer.
You gotta take what you can get. If that means 49 year old strange, then go for it. I feel like if your 17, banging a teacher is pretty cool. I wouldn't know, and wouldn't want too.
Let's just say the teachers at my high school were not my type. They didn't have the fiery sexuality that makes you want to take them out to a cemetery and bury her alongside the other bodies with your cock. I've known very few people in my day that exude that kind of sex appeal.
Some jokes aside, the cemetery might be the worst/best place to have sex. If all I have on my mind is the fact that I am standing on top of thousands of deceased peoples bone dust, then I am probably gonna last for like 2 hours. On the other side of things, that is what makes it bad. If I last for 2 hours, someone is bound to see what is going on. Cemetery is a public place, outdoors, in the middle of plain sight usually. If we're keeping score, then another one for the good column is any chick that wants to fuck you in a cemetery is a super freak. First of all, like I said, it's a public place. I don't know how big this cemetery was, but the majority that I have seen in rural suburbs have been small enough to stand on an edge of the grounds and be able to see the other side. For the sake of these two, let's say that this is a medium size cemetery. Second, your having sex on a pile of decaying bodies. That is fucked up any way you want to look at it. Super freaks are something you wanna hold on to for a couple go rounds, but teacher super freaks you should probably just ignore in the first place.
In all my time of seeing/reading about teacher/student sex scandals, less than 3 of the teachers have been "good-looking". This one is certainly not "good-looking", she's pretty bunk. Also 49, is a very very old age to be having casual sex in public. At 49 you should either have a husband/family or have given up on relationships. I might be wrong, but you shouldn't be seducing underage students into have freaky weird sex on hallowed ground. There are so many other people OF AGE out there and so many ways to get to them. Tinder, Bumble, J Date, Christian Mingle, Black People Meet any of those are viable places to find someone to stick it to you on top of a headstone.
Look, I already made you a nice tinder profile.
What happens if your having sex on a grave and someone comes to you know, clean it off, put some flowers down? Would that person just sit and wait? Would they attack the people desecrating their loved ones burial ground? It's a weird situation, and something I do not recommend.
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