Denard Robinson Drove into a Pond

a blog by La Kifo

Early Sunday morning, Jacksonville police roll up on a Chevy Impala lodged and sinking into a pond.

Jacksonville.com:

Robinson, 25, was asleep at the wheel when an officer responded, but authorities determined he was not impaired and should not face a DUI charge, according to the report.

The responding officer arrived at the pond near Beach and Southside boulevards about 4:20 a.m. after the crash was reported and noticed both people inside appeared to be asleep, according to the report.

The driver’s side of the car was submerged in the pond, so the officer approached the passenger side and knocked on the window to wake the two up, according to the report.

The report said Robinson then “opened his eyes and then went back to sleep.”

The officer continued to knock on the window until the passenger, 29-year-old Marissa O. Staples of Cincinnati, said “what’s up,” according to the report.
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I'm guess the conversation between Denard and his chick sitting passenger went something like this.

Police at the scene tested Robinson and declared he was not impaired. Therefor, won't be charged with a DUI. I thought shit like this would happen in real sports towns like Boston, but never would I have thought that the lowly Jacksonville police department would be covering up for the fucking Jacksonville Jaguars third string running back. 

Call me a cynic, but there's such a low probability that he wasn't drunk or on drugs. Odds would be at 10-1 he wasn't drunk, and I wouldn't take that bet. I don't expect people to remember, but this guy, Denard Robinson, is the guy who had an E:60 segment based on his unwillingness to tie his shoes. Never put your money on a guy who can't tie his shoes.  

My advice, get one of these Tesla's that drive themselves, it might come in handy next time he's trying to plow some hoe back at the crib after a full night of getting fucked up.