a blog by La Kifo
Deepak Chopra and Gillian Anderson have recently been quoted as saying they would like to be the next 007. Replacing Daniel Craig in the role of Bond shall be a challenge, one that will not and can not be filled by these two ladies.
Priyanka Chopra plays an up-and-coming FBI agent on ABC’s Quantico, but the leading lady has her eye on a much bigger, wildly coveted role.
The 33-year-old actress tells Complex magazine that she has been told that she would make a great Bond girl in the 007 film franchise. “I get that all the time,” she says with a sigh. “But f**k that. I wanna be Bond!”
Over the weekend, X-Files star Gillian Anderson also joked that she too wouldn’t mind being cast as the beloved spy. “It’s Bond. Jane Bond,” the 47-year-old actress tweeted with the hashtag “#NextBond.”
While it’s yet to be determined who will fill Daniel Craig’s shoes as the next Bond, Chopra – who was recently cast as the villain in the Baywatch movie – says she’s out to break the typecasting in Hollywood. “I was very sure I did not want to be the stereotype of what Indian people are seen as, which is Bollywood, and henna,” Chopra, who got her start as a Bollywood actress, explains. “That’s all great! It’s what we are, and I love it. I love saris; I love music; I love henna; I love dancing, but that’s not all we are.”
What the fuck.
I am just going to be blunt here, Fuck You Deepak Chopra, and Fuck You Gillian Anderson. No you cannot be James Bond. Absolutely not.
Let's start with Gillian Anderson.
I have so much to say and such little time, so this is coming at you in list form.
1. James Bond is supposed to be attractive
2. James Bond is not blonde
3. James Bond does not have long hair
4. James Bond does not have breasts
5. James Bond does not have a vagina
6. James Bond does not have a reproductive system
7. James Bond did not go through menopause
8. James Bond is not a woman
Now onto Deepak Chopra
1. James Bond is not 60 years old
2. James Bond is not Indian
3. James Bond does not play the ukulele
4. James Bond does not wear glasses
5. James Bond is not a woman
My main problem is with Deepak over here, Gillian kinda just got dragged into this for one tweet. First, I didn't know Deepak Chopra was an actress, I thought she was a host on The View. Also, there are a couple reasons, "James Bond" is not a great example of typecasting. The most glaring reason, he's a guy. The characters name is James. Unless you want to go through a sex change operation, there is no way a woman should play a character whose gender is a male. Remember the last time someone did that?
Little known fact, I guess, James Bond and the story of 007 was originally a book. The first of a long series was Casino Royale, written in 1953. Bond has been a white British dude for half a century. Now that we've got some background details out of the way, time for the hard hitting stuff.
According to Google, this is the definition of typecasting, "assign (an actor or actress) repeatedly to the same type of role, as a result of the appropriateness of their appearance or previous success in such roles." Let's take a good look at this bitches career, here is her IMDB page. What I noticed is, if Chopra had not been typecasted, she would have no career. Her first 10-15 roles are all Indian women, and I don't know but is the whole point of acting embodying the character, their likeness and personality? So how can you do that when, 1. You are the wrong gender, 2. You look nothing like the character, at all. Now, don't go run and say that hollywood were the ones who created the appearance of the character because that is a bullshit lie. Ian Fleming, the dude who wrote the books centered around the character James Bond, did. Fleming described the appearance of Bond to be extremely similar to that of Hoagy Carmichael. The man below.
Which is, a male, British, white, black thick stylized hair, handsome face, and a filled out frame. That description sounds nothing like Chopra, nothing. The reason why Bond has been typecasted for nearly each adaption, is so the on screen character would resemble the one described by Fleming in the books.
Fuck you, if you want to be James Bond how about making a new franchise of adapted films in which Bond has always been a woman. Don't just throw a woman into the standing bastion that is the James Bond film franchise. Make you're own fucking movie.
Even better, how about you write a whole new, original script that has no relation to James Bond or 007 instead of copying what has been done for decades on decades? Not appealing? Too much work? Too bad, do you really think that typecasting is solely based on racism and sexism in hollywood? Because if you do, your stupid. If people really want to break typecasting, then stop looking at long standing characters. Make new characters, new stories, that defy the roles we perceive them to be.
Deepak, I can write you a fucking spy script. One closely aligned to the Bond ideals and characterization. All I need is proof you're not a bumbling moron and $500,000. Then and only then will I or anyone else write you a typecast breaking script.
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