a blog by Kifo
I tried my best to find a picture of Li Li, getting swatted to fucks door but for some reason, most likely his impending lack of skill, there was no picture of such.
According to a boy source For The Boys, we have just learned that the middle child of those, Big Ballers, has got some really big balls. I don't check my mail often. Reportedly, the reality television star was arrested in China with two other members of the UCLA mens basketball team. Our boy source tells us, the arrest was in connection with stealing. The last thing our boy source told us before we threw him back in the dungeon, the theft, in question, was committed at a Louis Vuitton outlet near the teams hotel.
Another source, who was not a boy we trap in a dungeon, confirmed the alleged theft was of sunglasses. This grown man source, also received a quote from President Li's cabinet. They had this to say about the arrest of the reality television star, "Our Dear Leader, President Li, will use the reality star in custody to, once and for all, convince the good people of the world, living in smog is not hazardous for your health".
These are very alarming times for the reality television industry in the United States. The Kardashians are attempting to acquire networks like MTV, VH1, Oxygen, Tru TV, among others in order to establish a reality television monopoly while the Ball family is in legal limbo with China. Attempts made by the United States government to block the sale of these networks to the ass implant ladies, under anti-trust laws, have failed. The reality stars are simply too big for wigs in Washington. Support from the House and Senate, dwindled below half in support of blocking the sale. When asked why? Senators and Representatives voting not to overturn the sale, replied, "This sale has gotten the wrong kind of publicity. If the sale goes through, successfully, we will know who Rob is taking to Khloes engagement dinner. If we naively block this sale, we may never know what prostitute Rob dragged to such an important night for Khloe".
Not only are these times alarming for the integrity of the United States, but alarming in terms of world peace. For many years, the United States has beat up the rest of the world, submitted them to ideas of American peace. This falsely established notion is in grave danger. Congress will convene next week to decide whether or not to declare war on the Peoples Republic of China. The opposition of the Kardashian merger, are strict and loyal, Big Ballers. In a last desperation move, they will attempt an all out offensive against the communists to reclaim their beloved middle sibling from, Ball in The Family.
Support from other nations has poured in like water from a broken dam. Japan, South Korea, India, England, and France have all publicly made their support, of the United States decision to go to war with China, clear.
"The people of France are tired of the evil, manipulative tirade that the Kardashian family has rampaged across our airwaves. In moral support of the Big Ballers, we have released the mastermind behind the Kardashian robbery. Currently, we are working with our covert operations teams, in order to cultivate a scheme in which we may aide the United States in regaining our prideful yet, lovable middle son" Jacques Jack, a Emmanuel Macron spokesperson, emotional delivered on French National Television (scheduled after the Simpsons). Japan had this to say, "How dishonorable may the Chinese be? We would support the United States with the full strength of our military but... you know... you know what happened..." Takahiro Hiroshima proclaimed during a recent interview on Japans, Channel 6 news.
"There is only room for one country with a billion people in this world and while the United States turns China into the Marianas Trench, we can reclaim Pakistan", was what an Indian government spokesperson had to say on the matter during a national press conference.
Troubling times, very troubling indeed.
On the cusp of World War III, I only have one question: What about the Jews?
If we are getting rid of regions, let's give that a good look before we send anything into orbit.
This frenzy in China, has caused mass instability across global markets. The NASDAQ dropped 1,000 points today, an unprecedented decline. The stock market is not the only instability which the stupidity of a reality television star has caused. Mass suicides have been reported just hours after the news of LiAngelo's arrest. Mass suicides, looting, copyright infringement has run rampant across the United States which, recently, forced the government to declare martial law in sections of the great country. Military activity has doubled in the state of Florida since the arrest.
Unsurprisingly, Miami sunk under seven inches of sea water following the news. But, it is unclear at this moment what the cause of such a miracle could be.
The rest of us civil citizens, sit here hiding, waiting for safety.
For more apocalypse coverage, keep the WiFi alive in your bomb shelter and check back every five minutes with The Boys to stay on top of the happenings of WWIII.
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