a blog by La Kifo
PUEBLO, CO (KTRK):
A pizzeria owner says he believed a cheese thief snatched thousands of dollars worth of provolone from his refrigerator during the last month.
Hoss Kashani says he ran out of cheese a month ago. After some investigating, he realized the cheese had been stolen.
Kashani says the thief took between $5,000-$7,000 worth of provolone.
New locks and cameras were installed just days before the thief returned to once again clear out the fridge. Surveillance cameras caught the criminal on tape, and now police are looking for the suspect.
Kashani says in all, 50 cases of cheese amounting to almost 2,000 pounds of cheese were taken.
Pretty safe to assume who did this one.
The man loves cheese. HE is fascinated by cheese. The only problem is... Charlie never leaves Phili.
If it ain't Charlie then you got me stumped. The guy has got to be a lactose intolerant. I thought in the world we live in today, racism, discrimination would not exist. But there are still people out there like this guy, intolerant of anything that contains the disaccharide sugar lactose. It hurts to know we have such people left in this world. I would have thought that people like that died a few generations ago.
What do you do with $5000-$7000 of cheese? Is this man Cheese Hood. Steals cheese from the wealthiest cheeseries and gives it to the homeless. I really hope he is not doing that, because that might explain the pandemic of homeless people fucking a block of cheese in public. The cops should just confiscate those blocks of cheese back and you might still be able to use some of the cheese. I am sure not all homeless people have AIDS or hepatitis.
If you really want to catch this person I have a golden plan. Next time you close and expect the thief, go on the deep web and get some anthrax. Take the anthrax stick it halfway inside a block of cheese. That should stop him in his tracks. You just gotta let your cheese locker air out for maybe a month. I dont really know how anthrax works other than it kills you.
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Brian - Just a mild mannered kid/adult trying to figure out the way.
Big Red - If you don't chew Big Red then FUCK YOU