A man was arrested in Richmond after police say he faked his own kidnapping and sent a ransom note to relatives.
Police say 20-year-old Austin Kaylor told his family early Monday morning that he was being held hostage on Ballard Drive. He also told family members that if they didn't pay $150, he would be killed.
Police say they conducted a covert operation and found Kaylor at the home. Police say he tried to run away, but was quickly arrested.
I know I have made this joke before, yea ha ha. But i think I am serious this time. Someone please find this kid. I want this kid. Check that, I need this kid on my team.
"Bring me your dumb, your hopeless, your huddled imbeciles yearning for free cash, the moronic afterthoughts of your teeming shore. Send these homeless and I will laugh in their faces."
I think Kareem Abdul Jabar said that once.
I got a couple of questions for him.
1. 150? What drugs were you going to get with $150. All I can think of is crack, cracks cheap I think. But this is in Kentucky. Can you even buy crack in Kentucky? I might have to travel out to Kentucky to find out. Anyway, it is honestly sad, $150 is the ransom you set? Either he lives in a broke bum fuck town or this kid has no real concept of money. My money is on the latter, Kentucky is known for its strong public education system.
2. Have you learned anything from this experience? I know that Kentucky only gets 2 channels on cable, so this might be a bit over the boundary but fuck it. Have you learned anything from this? Let me answer that for you, yes, yes you did. You learned that crime is always better with conspiracy. Obviously you are way to stupid to pull something like this off by yourself. That is why it took the Kentucky police, not a very well funded group, one day to find you. What I am trying to say is, you need to be part of team. Austin you will always have a place on this team. I need a good scapegoat and it so happens that you are just dumb enough to qualify for the position.
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Brian - Just a mild mannered kid/adult trying to figure out the way.
Big Red - If you don't chew Big Red then FUCK YOU