Bad Takes

a blog by Kifo

Before I continue, just accept the new segments as they come out of the womb of creativity. I will no longer try and write a corporate marketing intro for some of this newer shit. Take it as it comes, just like my girlfriend used to say… when I would wake up tied to bed after a night of one beer. One beer too many.

That chick used to buy the strongest beer. I don’t even know where you would find beer that hits you like chloroform.

What we are going to do here, is not breakdown the mistakes in my personality, but to do what we always do, make fun of people on the internet. I will bring to you, each week, three different takes so terrible, they must be brought to light. For week one, we are straying from the designed path. In a special week one edition of Bad Takes, we bring you, Brady’s Bad Takes. A Tom Brady focused blog on takes that Brady has off the field or implies he does.

Brady's Bad Takes

If you a big enough loser to follow Tom Brady on Facebook, you already know, after every Patriots win, Brady's crack team of social media pundits put together what you see above.

Obviously, each comic is tailored to the opponent.

Yet after seeing more than twenty of these, what struck me finally, was this post. Where do I start?

1. This asshole pays people, each week to conceive and draw a “witty” comic book style poster.
   
   ​a. Every Week? Yea, that is the only way his account would be able to post those, hours after winning the game. Let’s check when this was posted to the TB12 account.

2. Who is this jackass hiring?
                           
                              a. I really can’t take it anymore, some of the other posts were bad but not terrible. This... this post goes beyond terrible. It goes into the realm of unforgiving. I might have to block Tom Brady. An accumulation of words I never thought possible.
             
3. Ever since TB12 opened in Patriots place and the stories came running through the media of Bradys business partner as well as who he likes to rub shoulders with, I began to question the man most of us love. And it’s not even entirely who he surrounds himself with. It’s also how he reacts to off the field stories about himself. Perfect example, with Trump, Brady at first, somewhat openly supported his friend by putting a campaign hat in his football locker and claiming that it would awesome if his buddy Donald was elected.

• What happened when bad press starting coming the Brady way? He 100% separated himself. Don’t lie to yourself, Tom Brady is a fucking weirdo without any real friends. Did Tom go celebrate at the White House after the Super Bowl Victory? No. What happened when the topic of whether the Patriots Quarterback would vote for his buddy, Donald, during the election? He deferred to his wife, letting her take the blame while being run over by 9 sets of wheels. Who knows his wife's motivation but it was clear from Brady's buck passing response to the line of questioning that he was done openly endorsing his “friend” Donald Trump.
  
  
• Of course, I love what Tom Brady has done for this city athletically, through his charity efforts and just being a nice personable guy to fans. But that doesn’t mean I won’t call him out for being a huge pussy and tabloid whore.
  
  
• The Donald is not the only "questionable "friend"" the athlete has. Brady is reportedly close with Tony Robbins. The man who believes the word, "Yes" and a positive attitude can lift you from the shackles of oppression and poverty. Seems like a pretty chill guy... who has made insane amounts of money being a glorified stand up comedian. Then there is Tom Brady's business partner, Alex Guerrero, the man behind the TB12 Institute. I would really like for you to tell me what you think of this guy: By the way I'm pulling quotes from a Boston Globe article, "The Patriots... have created a revenue stream for a private business owned by their franchise quarterback, Tom Brady, and a partner who faced federal sanctions after falsely presenting himself as a medical doctor and deceptively promoting nutritional supplements... the FTC sanctioned Guerrero, who doubles as a fitness specialist, for marketing a beverage made largely of organic greens that he falsely claimed could help prevent or cure cancer, heart disease, arthritis, and diabetes"
  
  
• When his career is over, and we’ve found out as much as we humanly can about the man. In the end, we will look back and realize how much of a facade this man's presented personality is. There was some point in which he went from the ultimate underdog to critically concerned with his brand. ​