a blog by Big Red
A 95 year old Florida woman, was arrested when caught trying to steal a shit ton of merchandise from a Walmart.
OCALA.com - A 95-year-old woman who, police say, was caught stealing $156.67 worth of merchandise from Wal-Mart was arrested Thursday and charged with retail theft.
Florence Cinami told the Ocala police officer she did not know why she took the items, among them a Chap Stick, a bronzer and some Dulcolax and other health items.
An employee at the store at 2600 SW 19th Ave. Road, Ocala, told a loss prevention officer that Cinami was removing items and putting them in her purse. She did pay for a few items, but not the ones inside the purse.
Store officials told the officer that Cinami had been caught stealing from the store in 2011 and 2015, but they did not call police. The officer noted that Cinami had a charge of retail theft in 2000. Court records indicate two charges of retail theft against her were dropped.
Cinami was given a trespass warning and was arrested and taken to the Marion County Jail, from which she was released on her own recognizance.
I totally understand why this 95 year old keeps trying to steal shit. There's no better high in life, than getting away with some stolen goods. I myself, once stole a massive pack of starburst form a Walmart, and only my mom caught me. Great day if you ask me, and I was only like 8 or 9 at the time. Afterwords, I thought about living a life of crime, but I just didn't look good in CRIP blue, or the Blood's red.
Yet this granny is going hard. Don't fuck with her. I mean this is her 3rd time getting caught stealing, which is pretty badass if you ask me. And a $157 is not just a couple packs of gum, this bitch tried to steal a good amount of shit. Especially if you're in a walmart, everything is so cheap. I'm sure 150 bottles of chapstick costs like $15 in a Walmart, right?
There's no chance that this 95 year old has only tried to steal 3 times, and been caught every time. I'm sure she just went for the big kill. You know, like in Ocean's 11, 12, and 13 movies. The big job, that you can retire after. She was probably going to mark up the chapstick like 300% and sell it online and then retire from the game. This grandma didn't chose the thug life, the thug life chose her.
Follow Us Elsewhere