a blog by La Kifo
Thanks to Spanish speaking company, Imaginarte, a stress reducing product that all of us would love is set to hit the market.
They are called NiceBalls.
Don't speak Spanish? Well then, fuck you. Is probably what the people over at Imaginarte would say.
I think it's safe to say, this is a brilliant idea, but it lacks some initiative. The big problem I have with these balls are the color. What ethnicity/race has pink balls? Mole rat people? I'm usually up to date on my cross human bred species conspiracies and I've never heard of Mole rat people. Hopefully this is another safe statement, no one here has pink balls.
I don't know what buffoon runs the color department over at Imaginarte, but he's doing it all wrong. Fair warning here, what I'm about to say falls under the guidelines of free business consulting. If Imaginarte wants any of these ideas they gotta toss up the 15% or $50,000. Did they ever think about realistic balls? Like I said balls are not pink and rarely that symmetrical. Without further ado, I would like to introduce, the next great innovation in stress reducing balls,
Hairy Harolds Balls
And my personal favorite, Outta This World Balls
Also I have a revolutionary idea that could change the ballsack world as we know it. Since clearly this product is for women or gay men, simply just bring a significant other to the Imaginarte headquarters located somewhere in Mexico. There we will spend the day, 3D scanning your significant others ballsack. That way you can have your buddies bag anywhere you go.
Not excited by the idea of your boyfriends balls following you around all day? That's understandable, we have a full line of celebrity and athlete balls. Choose from the swampiest of athletes or the chiseled bean bag of the A-list. Want to make your friends laugh with some witty political discourse? Then come by and grab a pair of our Hilary Clinton balls. Not into old shriveled messes? Pick up a pair of Trump balls. They are the perfect pair of Botox balls any man needs in his work place (Disclaimer: Trump balls only stay smooth for 2 hours after purchase.)
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