Quick Update on #MouseGate

a blog by La Kifo

If you're not up to date on #mousegate, then you might be surprised at what I found in my grill yesterday.

Yea so as anyone whose met me knows, I am huge pussy when it comes to most things. Mainly mice, insects, and other creatures like such. Naturally my plan to get rid of the mouse nest in my grill was wait for someone else to do it.

My plan went without a hitch as I did nothing and here I sit with my Grill clean, rid of the disgusting vermin. What I didn't expect was what was pulled from the nest this morning. 

A fucking baby mouse. A mini mouse not bigger than a quarter. I didn't even look at it and I was disgusted. Honestly, I don't think I can ever use my Grill again, I might have to buy a new one. There won't be one day in the summer when I am using my Grill that I won't be thinking about the fucking mouse birth. 

Human birth is gross enough, mouse birth has to be a million times more gross. Mouse innards juice everywhere, splattered across most crevices, it makes me want to puke just thinking about it. 

This means war. You can't just reproduce mouse soldiers in my place of grilling without there being repercussions. I hope these mice have mutated and evolved so that they can read this. For every action, there is a reaction. My reaction? I am going to have to capture any live mice roaming around my property. Bring them to my black sites, and torture them until they reveal details about their leader and their intentions. 

I know, it is a gruesome plan and PETA is going to be all over my ass. This is not something I will enjoy, that much, but it's something I have to do. They started the war, I am just ending it.